6 Steps to Help You Get Over Feeling Like an Imposter
Have you ever not done something because you didn’t think you had anything to offer?
Have you ever thought you weren’t good enough at something even though you do it for a living? Or that everyone is more qualified than you? Or maybe everyone has it figured out but you?
Been there.
In fact, I honestly go there a lot. And the more reading and studying and coaching I do, the more I realize that a lot of people spend time feeling like an imposter.
If you ever find yourself thinking…
Who am I to (fill in the blank)
What, little ol’ me?
What makes me think I can do x-y-z…
Imposter syndrome is defined as a feeling of inferiority despite any actual competence and success in any given area.
Maybe you feel like a fake, or worried you might be “found out” by others that you are, in fact, incompetent.
In reality, we are just sabotaging our own success.
Here are 6 questions to ask yourself to find out if imposter syndrome is problem for you:
Are you hard on yourself every time you make a mistake or see a flaw in your work?
Do you not claim responsibility for your success, or attribute it to “luck” or outside circumstances?
Is it hard for you to hear constructive criticism from yourself or others?
Are you afraid you’ll be found out as a phony from your colleagues or clients?
Do you undervalue your skills? This could mean monetarily or even when communicating what you’re capable of with others.
Do you often find yourself feeling like an outsider in your social or work environment?
I’m just gonna be honest here and say I can pretty much check off all of the above at some point during my day/week/year.
However, as I continue to do my personal work, the questions aren’t as loud. Yes, some of these issues still come up for me.
So if you’re thinking: “I can see some of these traits in me. Now what?”
I’m so glad you asked!
Herein lies the beauty of coaching. Together, we get to poke holes in all your thoughts and beliefs about yourself. I also can help give you the tools to work on these skills yourself.
I’m going to guide you through debunking each of the following if they apply to you.
You asked yourself 6 questions, so here are 6 steps to help you *slay* imposter syndrome.
Let’s go!
Step #1 to Help You Get Over Feeling Like an Imposter: Practice positive self-talk
If you’re hard on yourself every time you make a mistake or see a flaw in your work, stop and reflect. Recognize what you’re doing and ask, “is this at least “C” grade work?” Believe it or not, “Cs” are good enough!
If you can answer yes, then go a step further. Ask yourself, “how can I think about this in a way that is kind to myself” or “how can I take care of myself right now?”
Take the time to answer that question. If you find yourself looping on a flaw or mistake, repeat this step as many times as you need.
Having a plan or evaluating work is really important to stay in the analytical part of your brain.
Instead of doubting your work, go through this simple analysis after creating or submitting something:
What are 3 things that went well?
What are 3 things that didn’t go well?
What is ONE thing I could do differently next time?
Step #2 to Help You Get Over Feeling Like an Imposter: Reflect on the actions you’ve taken to get to where you’re at.
Ask yourself, “how did I get to where I am today?” Go a step further and ask yourself *how* you are responsible for getting to where you are today.
If you’re a mentor, attributing your success to luck is not helpful for others following in your footsteps. None of us can do anything about luck!
I personally love this exercise because it breaks down what we’ve done to become successful and if we choose to, we can share the gems of our successful journey with others.
Step #3 to Help You Get Over Feeling Like an Imposter: Lessen the negative self-talk.
Is it hard for you to hear constructive criticism from yourself or others?
If yes, ask yourself in the moment, “how can I take care of myself right now?” “Is there any truth to what they are saying?” “How can I learn from this?”
If you find yourself looping on negative self-talk after hearing criticism, try a brain dump on paper.
Just write down everything that comes up.
After that, pick 3 statements or thoughts you just wrote down to debunk. Ask yourself: Is it true? How could the opposite be true? How do I want to think about this right now?
Step #4 to Help You Get Over Feeling Like an Imposter: You’re not going to get ‘caught’ being a phony!
Are you afraid you’ll be “found out” as a phony from your colleagues or clients?
When I really think about this, I almost find it a bit humorous. But it’s very common, even among people “at the top” in their field.
I’m guessing you’re worried about what people will think or say about you behind your back. But what exactly do you think people are going to say?
Do you think your colleagues or clients are actually going to say, “You’re a phony! You don’t know what you’re talking about! You’re a phony!”
I sort of doubt it…
But even if they do, we can’t control what other people are going to think or say, so worrying about what others will think or say is a complete waste of our brain space and energy.
Can you picture yourself for a moment not caring what others think? How freeing that would be!
But since we’re social creatures, our brains are wired to care. It’s hard to just flip the switch.
Instead I like to approach caring what others think like I approach fear - can it be ok that you care what others think? Can you let it be ok without allowing it to steer your ship?
Can you do the thing, and acknowledge that caring what others think is simply your human brain doing it’s thing?
Step #5 to Help You Get Over Feeling Like an Imposter: Know you’re worth it!
Often imposter syndrome show up when negotiating pay, salary or setting your prices.
Awareness here is the dragon slayer. You can ask yourself, “Am I really charging the proper amount to reflect my true skills?”
On the flip, “What price would I feel *uncomfortable* charging?”
If $100/hour is uncomfortable for you and a client you’re working with, work down and find the point where the discomfort lessens. What about $90/hour? $80? $75? $60? $50? You can always set your goal price or goal salary right in the middle.
In addition, you can make a brain dump of all your skills, abilities, and most importantly, their value to your employer or customer.
When you get a number reflective of your skill level, own it.
Step #6 to Help You Get Over Feeling Like an Imposter: Remember that we’re all just figuring it out on the fly!
Ever think: “Why does everyone have it together but me?!”
If I’m being truly honest, I find myself in this camp a lot! I have this old idea that “everyone has it figured out but me.”
Even though I’ve been coached on this multiple times, I need to keep doing the work on my own because spoiler alert, no one has it “figured out.”
We’re all just humans on this planet, figuring out our lives, our relationships and our businesses for the first time.
It takes time to get in a rhythm. Give yourself some grace because I can guarantee you, there’s someone out there thinking YOU have it all figured out.
Next time you feel imposter syndrome surfacing somewhere in your life, pick one of these steps and work through it.
Come back to this blog and see how you can apply just one step to your life or business.
Whether you’re a seasoned self-employed business owner in a rut, or a new entrepreneur intimidated by those well-established in your community, it’s your passion, individualism, and energy that can propel you from one task to the next.
Enjoy the ride, you got this!
Need help navigating all this? Or putting it into practice? I offer one free coaching call to everyone interested GO HERE to schedule your call.